Thanks to Philip Frey for the Audio Version of the article:
Thanks to Philip Frey for the Audio Version of the article:
Thank You To Philip Frey For This Audio Version
Listen to more of his work at: http://www.valiantgrowth.com/
How To Set Achievable Goals
Almost exactly a year ago I made a decision that changed my life. I decided that I wanted to be my own boss. I felt trapped and cornered by my full-time job. I needed the money to pay the bills, but working all day seemed meaningless. I needed time to work on my personal goals and dreams, but that time disappeared every day at work. I wanted to find a way to escape from the rat race and work towards a lifestyle of freedom to choose what to do with my time. I also hoped to find a way to make more money in less time. I must admit that I have not reached my original goal of making a million dollars in a year’s time.
When I began my Amazon business, things were looking pretty good. I had no idea that the platform was about to make significant changes that would affect my ability to make money. I realize now that I had no idea what obstacles I would face. It just seemed like a good idea to make a big goal and shoot high.
The trouble with starting something new is that there is no way to know how difficult the obstacles will be. I was entirely new to being an entrepreneur and had never tried to run a business of any kind. I had no experience to prepare me for what was in store.
When setting goals, it is best to start small.
Last week, I went on an awesome hike with my wife to “the waterfall.” The waterfall hike was a favorite for me back in the days when my wife worked nights and slept during the day. I would take the kids out for a hike to the waterfall to keep them out of the house so mom could sleep.
The waterfall was a great hike because it was short and easy. Still, hiking never sounds good at first to the kids. To get them moving, I would take them to the store and let them pick out some snacks. I would then use the snacks as bribes to get them to do the hiking with fewer complaints. We also named some of the landmarks on the trail to make it more fun.
I stopped and pointed to the big mossy rock formations and told my wife, “Look, there’s snack rock!” I showed her the spot where I would stop and let the kids have some snacks. We would climb on the rocks a bit, then head on down the trail to the next snack spot, “breakdown rock.” Breakdown rock is where I remember tears and whining the most. We would have to stop and eat some more snacks to get everyone’s mood back up to make it through the next leg of the hike. By the time we made it to the waterfall, everyone would be in good spirits. The kids would become lost in the wonder of the smooth rocks, water, and beautiful nature. Often we would hike on and find more cool sticks and snack spots. It was a great way to entertain the kids, get some exercise, and enjoy nature all at the same time. All while letting mom sleep in silence.
While hiking with my wife, it occurred to me that the waterfall hike is a good metaphor for the concept I am working on with this article. I realized it also ties in well with what I learned in my recent interview with a famous author.
On the hike with the kids, it helped to set small attainable goals. When the kids got frustrated, we just had to look forward to the next snack spot and forget about the rest. I think we can all use this psychology on our minds when the going gets tough.
In an entrepreneur group on Facebook, my friend Kaylee posted a challenge to write a letter to a hero. After writing a letter to Thomas M. Sterner, I woke up astounded the next day to find his well thought out answers to my questions. Tom is a humble and kind gentleman. He took an hour out of his busy schedule to talk on the phone with me and record an excellent podcast episode.
In his self-published book, “The Practicing Mind,” Tom tells remarkable stories from his personal life. I found his lessons educational and inspiring. He illustrates simple methods for dealing with overwhelming situations. In Tom’s second book, he has a chapter that deals with setting goals using inaccurate data.
As in the case of my million-dollar pipe dream, I had no idea what I was up against, so I set an unrealistic goal. I am not suggesting that you should quit setting goals. In fact, I have enjoyed many small success points in the last year as a result of setting weekly goals. What I have learned is that it is best to set mini-goals that are achievable. Tom Sterner’s system called ‘The Four S’s’ has helped me through some of the hardest times.
Short, Small, Simple and Slow
The idea is to keep it simple.
Suppose you are dealing with a huge problem, like a long arduous hike in the forest. You can give yourself a small goal to make it manageable. To start, try making it to snack rock, where you can have a reward and prepare for the next leg of the journey. Rather than thinking about the whole hike, just keep your eye on each footstep and each breath. You have to glance up from time to time to make sure you are on the right path, but most of the journey is the moment you are currently experiencing. The idea is to enjoy making one movement at a time.
Slow down and take it easy.
My realization after a year of working as an entrepreneur is that it is going to take some time. My friend Michael said that starting a business, as a solo-preneur is “not so much of a sprint as it is a marathon.” His encouraging words remind me that the lessons I learned this year are worth more that money. I have not reached my financial goals, but I have learned lessons that are invaluable.
When I am feeling anxious or stressed, I remember Tom’s advice to slow down. I stop and create a small mini-goal that I can handle. A good rule of thumb is to stick to one or two primary goals per day. I love days where I cross ten or twelve things off my to-do list, yet inevitably there will be the tough days too. On those days one small, short, and simple thing will be enough.
If you are taking on a new venture, don’t bite off more than you can chew. Give yourself plenty of time and take it slow and steady. I highly recommend Thomas M. Sterner’s books. Find his work at this website:
I’m Starting From Scratch Podcast
Give some thought to this method of setting goals. Practice living in the present moment. See it work for you.
En=Make,put in. Courage=Heart,bravery
encouragement=“make strong, hearten”
Do you need encouragement?
Do some people need encouragement more than others?
I have spent time with people who say they don’t need encouragement. Some folks think that encouragement is unnecessary. They act as if there is a such thing as ‘too much encouragement.’
“Be careful, that guy is all jacked up on encouragement. He got way too many pats on the back today- he could do something rash!”
-unlikely scenario guy
I’ll be the first to admit that I thrive on encouragement. It’s the difference between dry spaghetti and spaghetti with sauce. Imagine a piece of dry bread compared to bread with peanut butter. Encouragement is that extra ingredient that makes things happen.
I believe in the power of encouragement because I have seen it in action.
I had a job many years ago taking groups of kids on top rope climbing trips and ropes course adventures. I remember one kid who wanted to give up on his climb over and over. As I kept talking to him and cheering him on, the other children started yelling out “you can do it!” He overcame the fear and climbed a tricky steep rock face. This boy was so proud of himself I still remember his big grin. I don’t think he would have ever made it to the top without the added encouragement.
If you need encouragement, ask for it.
It’s so easy to get caught up in my head, worrying about small things, and feeling inadequate. So many times a few comments from a good friend have changed my outlook. A new perspective offers leverage to get out of the pit of introspection.
Looking at an obstacle from another point of view makes it seem smaller, easier to overcome.
Speaking to a person who has already dealt with an issue and hearing them say it was not so bad gives me new confidence. At one point in my entrepreneurial journey, I was feeling stuck. I reached out to a complete stranger who gave me some great advice and encouragement. Check out my interview with Kaylee Summyt on “I’m Starting From Scratch” Podcast.
Can you think of a time when some encouragement helped? Perhaps you would not have gone that extra mile without someone’s urging push?
In the last year I have realized that it helps to ask for some kind words from my family. It’s not that hard. When I’m feeling beat up and ragged in my mind, it helps just to let the family know. I say, “Hey guys, I’m feeling bummed out today. I’m going to lay down for a few minutes. I sure could use some positive words tonight.” This simple choice to ask for help alerts the family that I might not be in a great mood. As a bonus, I also avoid possible conflicts and arguments.
Most people that love you will jump at the chance to help you out. Especially if you are the type of person that helps them out when they need it. If you do not ask, it is the rare person who senses that you need help.
The Dangers of Encouragement
The problems with encouragement are:
1. Aggressive, annoying approaches to “forcing” an idea or action.
2. Too much talking without action or result
3. Insincere motivations
Folks shrug off the importance of encouragement because the word is misinterpreted. Insincere statements such as “it will be OK,” or “don’t worry” are frustrating. I have learned the hard way that things can go from bad to worse.
I intend to use the term “Encouragement” in is purest sense. From the heart. Selfless motives, honest criticism.
Can encouragement come in the form of criticism?
Yes, why not? Or in silence, like the old guy saying “wax on, wax off” in The Karate Kid. In my experience, good feedback can come from unexpected sources. Old grumpy construction guys rarely offer compliments. I can remember one day when a boss who did rarely smiled or say kind things did give me a compliment. His few words meant a lot to me because they were hard to earn. Encouragement can come in various forms. A helpful word or compliment must come from the heart with honesty to be effective.
When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life. Encouragement really does make a difference.
Give out lots of positive encouragement to your friends and family and coworkers. You will not regret it.
“What comes around, goes around.”
The Motivational Tool: Dealing With Low Points In Life
I have experienced some pretty drastic mood swings and levels of motivation in the last year. In the last few months, I’ve been in a productive flow that makes me wonder if it can last. After getting past a weak point, I ask myself some questions about how to avoid or prepare for the next tight spot.
How can I prepare in this time of high vibrations for the next lull?
What is the secret for maintaining motivation?
I feel that there must be a way to stay motivated and feel more fulfilled in life on a consistent basis. After thinking on the subject and asking a few other folks I’ve come up with an explanation that makes sense to me.
The core reasons for loss of motivation are a lack of meaning and lack of preparation.
I have also experienced a low in motivational energy due to a sad event or feeling like a failure. I plan to write a future article to deal with depression and anxiety.
Sad times and weak points are part of the natural flow of life. Often, the moments when I feel down are the times that inspire me to get things done to get out of the bad feeling.
Recently, I was on a trip with my family coming back from visiting my mother-in-law. It was a good trip, but I was dealing with anxiety the whole drive back because of money troubles. I came to the realization that I had not worked enough in recent weeks. I was going to have a hard time paying all the bills that were due in the next two weeks. All I could feel at the time was stress.
My mind kept looping back to the same depressing thoughts. “Where am I going to get the money?” “How did I let things get like this?” I was stuck in a circuit, thinking about what I did not have and how would I solve this problem.
The mind is an incredible problem-solving machine that does not give up. The brain will just keep working and pondering on a problem. It will keep looking for solutions. This process can be good, but it can also be quite damaging. On the long car ride where there was little that I could do to solve the money troubles. It did not help to think about finding work because thinking would not produce results in that arena.
When I’m feeling stressed out, my mind does not operate as well at problem-solving. My brain just tends to cut tighter corners running around the same thought loop faster and faster.
What to do about it?
Here is a short list of some of the best tools I have found for dealing with the lack of motivation. These actions all help to relieve the pressure of being stuck in a rut of feeling down or out of fuel. These activities can also contribute to getting out of a rut.
Motivation is not a goal it is a reward.
Motivation is not like a destination. In my personal experience, it has not been something I plan for. I could shout out loud, “I’m going to be motivated next week!” It’s unlikely that I could convince or force that outcome to come to fruition.
Motivation is more like a fire.
You spend time collecting kindling and firewood. The wood needs to be dried out. The sticks have to be piled intentionally to leave air space. You need an ignition source and a spot out of the wind to keep the flame going long enough to get the kindling going. Motivation starts almost by magic when all the ingredients are in place. When the time is right, and the environment is conducive for it to flourish, the fire flares up in the blink of an eye. We can take actions to create the correct environment for motivation to take hold.
Taking positive forward action is the best way to get the ball rolling.
I got back from the driving trip feeling disgusted. I was so frustrated with the anxious feeling that I jumped right into action. I couldn’t wait to start working on dealing with the problem. I went out and did some Uber driving that night. Just making some money right away got my week off on the right foot.
I was still in the hole, but not quite as bad as before. I woke up the next day, and things started happening. I made some phone calls and lined up some work for later in the week with clients from previous handyman jobs. I got a call out of the blue the next day from a new client who needed my help with some random odds and ends. The new customer had a pretty decent job for me where I worked for a couple of days.
Things fell into place, and I made more money in one week than I had for months. I worked seven days in a row and managed to pay all the bills I was stressing over. Once I got into the process of working, all the weight on my shoulders drained away. I just put one foot in front of the other and dealt with the task at hand. I got into a flow and started feeling like my happy self again.
A champion needs motivation above and beyond winning. -Pat Riley
Life is not always going to be easy. No matter what success a person reaches, there will be new troubles and challenges. Every day is a new journey and every moment is a new opportunity. It makes sense to stop and think about the big goals from time to time, but the day-to-day work is right in front of us. I’ve learned it’s best to look at the road directly in front of me. I must deal with the obstacles that are in that direct path and forget the rest. In times of high stress and anxiety, some of the pressure has to do with the way I am thinking about the problem.
When I tried to take on the whole problem of money on a drive, it was completely unproductive. There was no action immediately available to fix the problem. I was just setting my mind up for a short circuit. I can’t say I’ll never make that mistake again, but I will be more aware of how to deal with it after working on this article.
Like building a fire, you cannot always prepare for every rainstorm or gust of wind. You can choose a dry area that has a natural wind block. You can store a pile of dry twigs under a waterproof tarp and prepare for storms with a healthy sized pile of dry logs.
So, next time I’m feeling on top of the world, I am going to make a few preparations for the future. I can set aside some money for a rainy day. I am setting aside some good motivational quotes. I created a section in my notes called “Inspiration” so that I can look at it when I need some help.
Another good idea is to pick out inspirational music and make a rainy day playlist.
Another strategy I’ve been working on is to take care of loose ends. The more things I can stay on top of the better. It’s good to deal with issues now, so they won’t compound the problems that are sure to come along later.
My hope is that this story will help to encourage you to take action in your life today. Start preparing the ingredients for your bonfire. Create the right environment for motivation to flourish.
Let the fire burn inside of you to achieve your goals!
Here it is!
Regular Mouth Mason Jar Cold Brew Coffee/Loose Leaf Tea infuser
Finally, a recyclable dishwasher safe cold coffee brew infuser that works for loose leaf tea AND fits in a regular mouth mason style canning jar!!
Mason jars are inexpensive and easy to find at any grocery or hardware store. This simple infuser will revolutionize your drink-making experience!
Take a regular mason jar, drop the infuser in, and use any loose leaf tea, coffee or fruit to flavor your drink.
Take a regular mason jar, drop the infuser in, and use any loose leaf tea, coffee or fruit to flavor your drink.
Let your flavor sit overnight in the refrigerator or pour in hot water and make your drink right away!